The best Love story of all time - November 19, 2021
God has always told me that he had the most amazing love story for me. Which is
interesting because if you know me, you know I hate romances. I was always into sports,
action and comedies. Even as a kid I wasn’t much into the Disney fairy tales. That just
wasn’t my style and I have never had a desire for it. So imagine when God showed me one day when I was watching Beauty and the Beast, that he had a story for me like a fairy tale. Now I believe that God does have an actual love story for me. Right now it is on pause because I first had to know, love, and trust the author of the love story. I needed to
experience the greatest love story of all time, first: God’s love story for me… so humor for a little while if you will….
Once upon a time there was a princess…..
This Princess was loved by everyone around her and she was considered beautiful by
everyone that met her. She laughed without fear of the future. She ran in her father’s garden and enjoyed life. She had no care in the world. Her father would give her anything she wanted. She was the happiest, most joyful little princess you could have ever meet. She had a large inheritance and the whole world valued and honored her.
One dark day she ran into someone at a very young age that she thought was her friend,
who abused her and took away her innocence. Now this Princess no longer felt safe to run in her father’s garden. She felt shame and no longer felt beautiful. She felt confused and dirty. She did however, keep up her beautiful appearance. No one would know how much shame she really felt. Until one day the Princess herself forgot the whole incident
happened. She moved on, happy as she could be, except for one small thing… she felt the
need to protect herself. She no longer felt like her father could do it. I mean he didn’t stop what happened before. The Princess was no longer a young girl. She was a woman now. She wanted to do what was right and please her father but… she wanted to have fun too. So after many years of drinking, partying, shame and too many boys, she forgot who she was. She only went to her father in times of great need, but decided she was the only one who could protect herself. She decided she no longer wanted to be a Princess, but would rather work and be independent. She wanted to do what she wanted. Her father let her leave because he loved her and gave her free will. She still loved her father and trusted him with some things but for the most part she was going to do what she was going to do.
With her wounds, her habits, and denial she soon lived a fake but very successful life. She
looked good on the outside but couldn’t be happy on the inside. She started hating herself because she knew her father would treat her better, but why? She was dirty, a failure, a drunk, a cutter, and suicidal. Who would love a Princess who chose to be a slave? Even though she knew her father loved her and that she was choosing to be a slave, she still chose to live this way; no longer dressed in beautiful dresses and enjoying the inheritance of his beautiful household or the gardens. She may return for quick visits but when life got hard, she returned back to her life as a slave.
Maybe this story sounds far-fetched or even child-like. But this is my story. My whole life
I have tried to protect myself. I have been so angry, I tried to control everything. In the last year I have gone through major healing. God gave me a perfect gift and a promise of a love story. But I couldn’t accept it. God spoke clearly to me. He said, “Rachael it is time you find out who really loves you; who is the author of this Love Story; the one who created your perfect fairy tale…. ME!” In the last 2 weeks I have lost and I have won. I
surrendered, then took it back. I have hated so many parts of me, then found so many parts of me that I love. I have had to heal for the first time without any of my protection
mechanisms, my control or my addictive devices. I have had to heal, love and live life with my perfect bridegroom. GOD! There is no other story than the love story of a savior who has put up with me. My addictions, myself sabotage, my pain, my anger, my hate and my out of control rage. But God never leaves. I don’t have to hide or be perfect for him. He loves me no matter what. He is never annoyed by me or thinks less of me. I am always enough for him. He loves me and then he proves it.
I had to lose something that I found to be very special to realize that I have not let God
have my whole heart. I have been healing for over a year but I needed my deepest wound to be revealed to be healed even more. For the first time in my life, I decided to go through this painful season without relying on any of my addictions. I have not had a drop of alcohol, weed, pills, self-abuse, control or sabotage to fall back on. I only have my savior, my bridegroom to keep me. For the first time in my life, I have realized that God is enough for me. I have actually put him on the throne of my life. I have not tried to control him but let him lead me. I have exposed some deep lies that I have believed for so long.
He told me the biggest lie yet; the lie that caused me to run away my entire life: that I have a need to protect myself, so I open doors before his timing so I don’t have to have
faith. So today I choose not to open any doors. I choose to stay in his perfect timing. I
choose to let him lead me where he wants me. I choose to have faith in him. During this
painful time I went back and read my prayers. I realized God is just answering all my
prayers. It may not look like how I anticipated it to look like. However, it is perfect. I have
been praying for 9 years. This has been my heart’s desire to share my life with a Godly man and have a Godly legacy. So seeing it being put on hold has hurt me more than I could imagine. But, finding God as my bridegroom, having childlike faith in him, having his heart (like I prayed for) is my actual heart’s desire.
My heart is whole because I know God loves me and calls me his princess. I don’t have to
be ashamed. He wants the best for me and wants to fight my battles. I know that he has the best love story for me of all time… That is worth everything to me. I have been a slave for so long. That was never God’s intention. He always wanted me to be his princess and his greatest love story. For the first time in my life… I want to watch him just do what he is
going to do. I want to watch him love on his daughter and make the love story unfold that he always had for me. I know he can protect me and wants the best for me. I want to
completely surrender even if I don’t get the prince in the end… because no matter what, I
get the father. What more could I ever want? I have freedom like I have never had before. I have peace that surpasses all understanding. I get to walk with him through my pain into the most beautiful places. FREEDOM. I get to hear my God call me his princess and lavish me with love. I don’t need anything more. This princess is finally home and no longer a slave. She is loved, and dancing in her fathers presence. No one can steal her innocence anymore. She is with her father and she is loved. (But I have a feeling there will be another love story very soon. God has a way of blowing our minds and I can’t wait to see what he has in store.)
Don’t let the world steal your fairy tale. God wants you to be free and no longer a slave
too. Please don’t wait for heartache to learn this. Please run to him today and let him heal
you and give you freedom. He knows your pain and your shame. He still loves you. He
calls you his own. You are his princess or prince. GO HOME TO YOUR FATHER,
YOU ARE NOT A SLAVE.
….And she lived happy ever after
